Anger Management
by Scribble-Dead
Summary: After some coaxing from Shinra, a frustrated Shizou finally have his first visit to see a psychologist. Hilarity ensures to see how several methods of controlling his anger will turn out. Rated T for language and violence.
1. Pilot

_I went to see a psychologist today. Under Shinra's recommendation, I thought it was a damn stupid idea, but it's the only thing I can control my anger._

_As expected, everyone who saw me at the clinic probably shit some balls, but it doesn't matter. So long as no one pisses me off seeing this psychologist. It's my first visit to see one, though I feel a little jittery about it._

"_I treat wounds, so I know nuts about psychology." Shinra told me in his apartment several days before my visit. Taking a card out of his pocket like a businessman, he continued. "She's quite well-known in Ikebukuro, so don't forget to tell her that I recommended you to her!"_

_What. The. Fuck._

"_I…would like to see Rika Tachibana. Please." I've tried my best to sound as polite as I can, though I could see the receptionist shivering profusely. "Made an appointment with her."_

"_O…ok…" _

_By the time I've turned around, all the patients have probably run out. Geez, I hate violence._

"_Sir…you may enter."_

_I made my way to Dr. Tachibana's room not without bowing at the receptionist. When I first entered the room, I feel…something tingling inside me. A woman, who was about my age and wearing a similar coat like Shinra with shoulder-length black hair, was sitting in a remote corner. Even for a lady, she was looking quite stern._

_She took a slip of paper from a small gap while I made my way to lie down on this funny looking bed. "So, Heiwajima-san, what can I help you with today? I've heard about you from Shinra, so spill the beans."_

_I spilled everything out, but I don't feel uncomfortable revealing my problems to her. Everything from start, how I first got my violent tendencies, the time I met that egregious Orihara Izaya,, everything, everything, everything, everything, everything, EVERYTHING!!!!!_

_I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING CONTROL MYSELF! EVEN THOUGH I HATE TO FIGHT!_

_But Tachibana did not say a word. Not one word. Scribbling down, looking extremely nonchalant about it, even when I almost became uncontrollable at what I'm even talking about. Yet, she still held that same boring expression. _

_She writes, and then erases it. She writes again, not before erasing her mistakes one more time._

"_Go on."_

_When I've finally cooled down, I rant on with all that she needs to know, from being fired in countless jobs, then becoming the most fearful person in Ikebukuro, fight, fight, and I keep on fighting to get my hands on Izaya…_

"_I presume that you've explained everything. Well then, if you don't mind me rectifying everything you told me." _

_I just gave her a light nod. That is all._

"_Somehow, you grew up in a normal family, and yet you begun throwing random objects every time you are provoked, some way or another. Sometimes without any apparent reason too. Your parents aren't abusive with you, yet you can't seem to control your anger as well. You don't have many friends (But its okay.), but according to your claim you made more enemies than you can actually count. You hate Orihara Izaya, and in your own words, 'I hate him more than anyone else in this world.' You've been retrenched an umpteen times due to your anger problems, and the only job you're stuck with is being an infamous debt collector in this city. I guess that is all you can say, Heiwajima-san?"_

_That…was direct. _

"_Don't worry. So long as you agree to work with me, I can guarantee that there are high chances of you to manage your anger problem of yours."_

_Right, so now we're getting somewhere. _

"_And just so you know," Dr. Tachibana began, not before taking a clipboard from her desk. "Your way of exerting your anger is extremely unhealthy. Somehow, in a way or another, you're going to get yourself in an unstable state." She said it while poking my chest using her clipboard in a rather professional way._

_Usually, when someone does this to me, my victim would have me twisting his wrist by now. In the situation I am in now, I kept silent._

_Plus, I do not usually twist wrists on women, unless they piss me off too much._

"_Of course, you are direct in expressing your anger towards someone, but not in the correct way. But for now, take this home. I have other patients in the line in my schedule today; just try to see how this will work. Don't worry, I have written instructions inside the package." She took out a piece of fresh card out of her drawer, scribbling down my next appointment with her. "See you next time, Heiwajima-san."_

_That goes my first visit to a psychologist, not before I turned my appointment card around, writing down a small note at the very corner of the card._

"_Know that you are the brother of Hanejima Yuuhei. Don't worry, won't tell anyone."_

_Crap._

_

* * *

  
_

**Author's Note: Hey, guys! How's life going for you?**

**Started writing this after I've seen episode 7. I laughed my heart out after seeing that episode. Don't worry, won't turn this fic with Shizuo X OC or any shounen-ai pairings. Just want to see Shizuo's reactions in acting out the steps of managing his anger. Let's see how things will work out for him. Though I felt like treating this story as a one-shot, but I think it would be better to continue, seeing how the results will turn out. **

**I'm working on a KH fic, so be sure to check it out!**


	2. The First Step

_A week has passed since I've last visited Dr. Tachibana. _

_In any case, there's work for me to do. With all the time I had, I just took out the easiest thing to digest to get rid of my anger problems again for the 65th time this week. It was just a piece of paper, but it's better than giving me a 500-page manual that I don't even think of a damn:_

Deep Breathing

This is one of the most basic treatments in managing your anger. Whenever you feel stressed, angered, annoyed, pissed, [insert 'angry-related' word here] and you think that you want to throw something or act violently at the situation, take in a few deep breathes before making your next move. It's nothing too difficult, give it a try.

_There are some bottles of sweet-smelling liquids in the package too, but I did the rest when I got home one night without any disturbance going on from ANYONE. That night, I did that while locking the main entrance and even switched my cell phone off, following whatever instructions that Dr. Tachibana instructed in another manual. And yes, I was only covering my body with a towel since I have no other spare clothes for me to wear. _

_It was that easy, spraying a bottle of lavender and rose scent around the entire room. The smell was thick the first time I got the chance to sniff it up. If you're thinking that I'll start doing yoga stunts after this, sorry, you've come to the wrong person. Since my bones get tougher once I've grown older after all the carrying I did since I was a kid, Shinra did advice me not to do any complicated stunts, as any pushing on my frangible bones would result in permanent damage . Rather, I sat with my legs crossed, while meditating and following the rhythm of my heartbeat._

_It was all right for the first 20 minutes since I've began my 'therapy', until…_

"_Hey, Shizzy! What are you doing over there with only a towel on? And what's that strange smell coming from?"_

_My enemy at the window._

_Orihara Izaya._

_That stupid flea. _

_Izaya._

_Izaya._

_Izaya._

_IZAYA._

_IZAYA!_

_IZAYA!!_

_IZAYA!!!_

_"IZAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

I don't know what came over me. Really. That voice of duplicity is really getting on my nerves. At the moment, killing him on the spot is all that matters. Nothing else.

"_Hmm. Seeing you with only a towel as clothing is pathetic, Shizzy. Out of cash lately, huh?"_

"_Don't you get away from me this time, you fucking flea!"_

_At that moment, I pushed the window aside; climbing up the roof at where that flagitious Izaya was standing, sadistically grinning at me in a distance away. I just let myself let loose, my legs running after Izaya as fast as I could. Jumping about 25 meters into the next few buildings, I didn't realize myself that the next roof I'm about to jump is slippery. While Izaya jumped into the next roof like a fluttering butterfly, my bare feet couldn't make any friction with the roof, so I ended up in a trash can in between the roofs I jumped into. _

_I did noticed that Izaya had those sport shoes on this time, not leaving without making out that usual wicked, annoying and menacing laugh of his. I made another realization; I'm stark naked in public. Naked, as in I'm in the position when I'm in front of everyone. My towel is gone, and presumed it was taken by Izaya earlier on._

"_Ahh! Is he a pervert or something?"_

"_Don't look at that bad man, Yuumi!"_

"_Eww, naked in the middle of the city. He must be shameless or something."_

_Blushing as red as a red apple, I covered myself in a folded cardboard I've found in the trash can. It was the most embarrassing moment in my entire life. My entire career. _

"_!!!!!!!!!!!!!"_

_I just have to make sure I won't have to see Orihara Izaya again at the end of the day. Not today. _

_Deep breathing, hmm. Doesn't seem too hard to me, but I'll give it a try in my confrontation with Tom's debt-ridden 'clients'._

"_**What's wrong, Shizuo?" **__It was Celty this time, quiet but calming as usual, writing this message on her PDA. __**"I think you're behaving a little strange today. So, feeling pissed again?"**_

"_Not really. That roommate of yours recommends me to see a psychologist. Now I'm just taking deep breathes. It's one method to control my anger"_

_Celty began typing on her portable computer again. __**"That's good. I see that you're putting effort to control your anger."**_

"_---if I do not bump into that stupid flea again today." I finished off what she needs to say. There was no need for her to know what happened on my confrontation between Izaya and I. "See ya later, got a job to do, and also to test out my anger after taking these breathing exercises."_

_It wasn't such a hard task to share my woes to her sometimes. I first met her during high school when Shinra introduced her to me, in a rather unconventional way. But really, I do like quiet people as long as they do not pester me. _

_People in Ikebukuro tremble in hear as soon as they heard my name, like loud booming thunder falling down into the world. That is to be expected when I'm going to rip limbs apart. Thrash them till they turn to mush. Or dismantle pieces of machinery junk here and there, so that people will fear me whenever I go. Well, not really everyone. Several people who knew that 'incident' began laughing their heads off (And fortunately for me, I was able to shut their gaps by showing off my death glare.). While the others just shun me as soon as they felt my presence. _

"_Don't think I'll let this go quite easily, ya?" This time, we're at a gambling den to settle some scores here. It was quite rowdy in my standards; a great but depressing haven to loan money from 'creditors'. I lit my cigarette, adding to the air pollution to the tight environment, not that I felt pissed at the moment. "It's been two months since you last paid up, and we're not leaving here till we collect our interest." Senpai's stern words left hardly an impact on these useless brutes._

"_This is Tokyo here. The government hates us; life is not worth living for anyway." One useless brute managed to mockingly shut Senpai's gap. "Stupid studies, stupid family, stupid life. What more can we do in this stupid society anyway?" Another looked at me, giggling stupidly at what I was wearing._

"_And what are you supposed to be anyway? A casino dealer? Geez, go to Vegas or somewhere, motherfucker. Or go deal some cards at the tables now."_

_These brutes are getting on my nerves. Just before I get my hands on the dump, I took deep breathes, repeating this message over and over in my head before hell breaks loose to these money-lenders. Before I get into a bad mood, I took another puff out of my cigarette._

"_Calm down, they're just attacking me with words. It's not as if they'll beat me to death. Calm down, Shizuo, calm down. Calm down."_

"_Hahaha…look at him breathing like an idiot!" _

"_What are you anyway? Hey, dude, this place is not for you. Go work in a stinkin' restaurant or something."_

"_Stop standing there like an idiot if you're so tough. Come on, motherfucker." _

_Pulling me in a corner, amidst of all the commotion going on in the hidden den, these annoying brutes started kicking me. I thought they will stop; those unruly ruffians. Never heard of Shizuo Heiwajima, huh? No matter what, I'm not going to raise a finger if I'm going to conquer my problems. Calm yourself down, Heiwajima Shizuo. _

"_Come on, come on!"_

"_What are you doing, Shizuo-kun? Do something."_

_I can control my anger no longer._

_I can control my anger no longer, those fucking ruffians._

_I can control my anger no longer, those fucking ruffians for raising a finger against me._

_I can control my anger no longer, those fucking ruffians for raising a finger against me. I feel like ripping them apart._

_I CAN CONTROL MY ANGER NO LONGER, THOSE FUCKING RUFFIANS FOR RAISING A FINGER AGAINST ME. I FEEL LIKE RIPPING THEM APART, AND NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_It was the last straw. Bending that bit of cigarette off with all my might while stomping on it, that was my last warning for them. I've given them chances to think twice, yet they just won't leave me ALONE! I let everything out. Seeing a gambling table nearby, I start throwing things like a madman. As usual, I let my emotions get in my way; my brain is doing absolutely nothing to stop it. _

_Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL. KILL._

_Bringing the match out of the compressed piece of shit, I just throw anything that I can find in my way. May it be cards, a harmless piece of paper, a 68 inch plasma television, a refrigerator that weights a ton, the traffic light stand; a king-sized bed, an arcade machine…the list goes on and on. Breathing isn't going to save my life. Killing is._

_In that moment of blind rage, I managed to get those thugs into their senses, their heads bleeding profusely. Expressing their fear right in front of me, I began laughing madly with triumph, crushing that broken monitor with my own two fists. I continued breathing heavily for the next few moment, trying my best to clear my head and thought clearly of how I should deal with them. _

"_YOU! GET THE FUCKING NAME, SHIZUO HEIWAJIMA; INTO YOUR HEAD AND GO FIND A PERFECT EXCUSE FOR YOUR LAZINESS! Government, government, government; it's always the government's fault. Go get a decent life or something." I ended this battle; not before smashing a broken computer monitor onto a windscreen of a car god knows who it belongs to. Breathing heavily as I left the commotion, I saw someone I knew that I know best to avoid seeing._

_Rika Tachibana. _

_The windscreen I've broke was her car. She was about to enter her car. Looking rather deadpan as usual since I first saw her, she just swept her cell phone out of her handbag without saying a word. I thought she was going to report me to the police for smashing her windscreen and the damages I've done, but it was really something else after all._

"_Towing service? I need my car repaired as soon as possible. I'm outside Seibu Department Store at Ikebukuro, please come quickly. Thank you very much." She just flicked her phone away, not before saying "See you next week on my next appointment" without any hesitation and left. _

_It is my first time feeling guilty for doing this to an innocent bystander. I was speechless for the rest of the day, just wandering around town for a while._

_But the only good thing is that, I don't see Izaya anywhere. It's the only good thing that happened to me on that day._

_

* * *

_

**Author's Note: Hi! Once again, I've updated you with another chapter of Anger Management. I'm really glad that many of you like my story and favourite it. That gives me the motivation to continue with my fic! Please continue to support me, and feel free to give me some ideas and suggestions on dealing with Shizuo's anger problems or improving this story.**

**Yeah, the two methods mentioned above are some of the methods real life psychologists used to people with anger problems. There are other methods as well, but it's a little complicated or less funny if I place it into this story blindly, so I need some ideas from you to make it a little better. I've tried re-watching episode 7 again at times when I can't seem to get any motivation to continue this fic too. I didn't get bored watching it for the second time.**

**So, that's it. Thank you for the support you've been given me ever since I published the first chapter. I'll do my best to support the Durarara!!! fan community as much as I can.**


	3. A Series of Failed Attempts

_A week has passed since that incident. Before I knew it, I was inside this same simple room again. _

"_Well, it's no big deal anyway, Heiwajima-san." Dr. Tachibana was rummaging at her folders while talking to me. "Accidents happen any time. Besides, I have too many things on my mind and fortunately my car suffers minor damage."_

"_How did you know that Hanejima Yuuhei is my brother? I didn't tell you that he's my brother Kasuka."_

"_Oh, so his real name is Kasuka Heiwajima?"_

"_W-what?"_

"_You said it. I knew that you and he looked a little alike. I can't really pinpoint exactly where, but my hunch is telling me that you guys…smell the same."_

"_O-oh."_

_She took out a thin folder from the cubicle, before slamming it at me on the table. "Before we continue, how's the treatment going?"_

_I shook my head in displeasure. "At least the deep breathing exercises helped me a little to cool off some steam." Carrying a small package to the table, I pushed it back to her gently. "But this, I got all frenzy again."_

_She took the package, placing it aside from the table. "Well, it's okay. This isn't the first time I've seen people I'm not supposed to reveal with real anger issues. And talking about issues, I need you to take a look at this photo. Shinra said I should let you see it." She flashed the photo to me. The moment I saw that person in there, I couldn't control myself anymore._

_Orihara Izaya. In his high school days._

_Seeing that I was in frenzy again, she snatched the photo away from my hand. "So it's true after all. You do have issues with this guy after all---"_

"_Stupid doctor! Wait till I shred him into pieces and break his bones into diamonds…" Realizing that I am in front of a psychologist, I stood my ground. I place my chair back at where it was supposed to be before we go on._

"_Well, I kinda asked him for the photo. I apologize; yeah it's rude for me to ask for someone else's photo. So I hope you don't go after Shinra-san, if you're thinking of going after him." She stood up, and then bowed down to me in apology. "Let's begin, shall we? Give me some time to think of suitable treatments for you. Let's see..."_

"_Medication?"_

"_I don't think it will work in your case, Heiwajima-san. Besides, I'm not a psychiatrist and I'm not particularly sure if the side effects will worsen your condition. Who knows what kind of side effects medicine will have on you. So, maybe you should hold on to this for the moment." She placed the photo of Izaya back into my hands. "You hate him, right? By looking at him wherever you go, maybe it will help neutralize your current condition. And I'm sure that you'll be sick of looking at him after a week or two." _

_I stared at that hateful smirk that flea is showing. Before I flared up again, I placed the photo in my pocket, where I couldn't see him for the rest of the day._

"_I have a little surprise for you if you managed to make some improvements in your anger problems." Dr. Tachibana said quite hopefully. It was the first time I saw her smile slightly, other than that usual deadpan stoned face I saw two weeks ago._

"_A…surprise?"_

"_Just come to my house next week. Don't worry; I won't do anything funny if that's what you're thinking right now." She took a small stack of post-it note out from her drawer, penned down the address before placing it on my breast pocket. "Here you go."_

"_T-t-thanks." _

"_Don't mention it. Now, for the rest of the session. Listen to me carefully. Do you sometimes feel that you are exerting your anger out of no apparent reason at all?" I carefully nodded. _

_

* * *

__The session finally ended, with a little present before I left Dr. Tachibana's room. It was a piece of ball made out of a sponge-like material; a stress ball. Whenever I feel like exerting my anger without any reason, she said this will help me elevate some of my anger. _

_But I still don't appease on the idea of looking at that stupid flea's photo whenever I go._

_So I head right straight to the sports store, since I am free at the moment. I remember Kasuka needing a tennis racket and other equipments for his upcoming movie he's going to film soon. I did overhear him and his manager during out phone conversation, with his manager yelling at his schedule, so I guess that he needs me to do the grocery shopping._

_It was still working hours, so the shop was not as packed as usual when I got there. To tell you the truth, the stress ball in my pocket actually helped me a little. I felt more relaxed than I usually do, for the first time in many years. Seeing that no-smoking sign, I place the remaining cigarette butt into the ashtray on the nearest bin I could find before entering the store._

_When I got to the tennis section, they had all kinds of things; racquets, tennis balls, sports shoes suitable for tennis; the list goes on and on. To start off, I rummaged at the branded tennis racquets until…_

"_Hey, Mikado. How do I look with his tennis racquet?" A blonde high school student not far away from me was talking to his friend. "Well, do girls fawn over me after they see me posing like this?"_

"_Er…it's kinda cool. But are you actually exaggerating it a little too much Kida-kun?"_

"_That is why you should look for me whenever you wanna find a girlfriend. It's lonely without a partner, my dear friend."_

"_T-that's not I meant." _

"_Hmm…I can read your mind…you know you wanna give it a try. You thinking of Anri?"_

"_S-shut up, Kida-kun!"_

_It was that Ryugamine kid and Kida in the same section. But since they aren't bothering me, I'll leave them as they are. Silently, I tip-toed my way out of these two while holding on to a tennis racquet that I think Kasuka will like, but…_

"_Hey! It's Shizuo!"_

"_Ahh…what's he doing in this store anyway? Better not go near him, you don't want him to turn us into mush. C'mon, Mikado."_

_Since I didn't really hear what the both had said about me clearly, I felt as if they were insulting me, based on their body language and eye contact. It wasn't a good feeling; I wanted them to apologize to me. My brain had wanted me to throw some dumbbells at them, however seeing a basket full of tennis balls made me want to do something interesting._

"_Hey, kid!"_

"_Wha---GAH!" I aimed at the ball accurately at that Ryugamine kid first by hitting his back. It had probably thumped him really hard since I could hear a really loud 'Oomp' from that kid. _

"_Come back here!" Like some kind of machine, I threw more and more balls one after another in split seconds. That duo were probably running away from me; I knew it, they were badmouthing me from the start, I could see their faces shivering in fear and the more they see me with that face, the more I wanna whack them with these balls as hard as I can._

_But my plans didn't exactly work out. Really. _

_One of the balls hit him exactly at the Ryugamine kid's nasal bone with blood spilling at its opening. That wasn't how I enacted the situation to be. I didn't mean to hit him too hard till his nasal bone cracks. _

"_Mikado! A-a-are you all right? That really hurts…oh my god he's bleeding!!" Kida suddenly gasped with horror, seeing him putting his friend's head on his lap. "Don't die, Mikado…" before he start sobbing away like an annoying crybaby. _

_Seeing everyone distracted in those two, I quickly take whatever tennis equipment I could find, check it in the cashier before fleeing at the situation._

_But what I didn't realize that I had left something back at the store. _

_Orihara Izaya's stupid photo._

"_MI-KA-DO~ what's this?" Masaomi Kida took that photo lying on the floor just next to that Ryugamine kid, with that usual 'WTF' look on his face. "Shizuo-san's photo? What's Orihara Izaya's doing in that photo?"_

_

* * *

__For the next few days, I swear that Izaya's a stalker; he knows exactly where I was heading, and what I was doing every hour, every minute, every second of my daily life as all hell breaks loose...  
_

Massaging

"_Are you feeling better, Heiwajima-san?"_

"_Mmm. Just keep that going."_

"_Erm, what about here?"_

_That massager actually hit my vital point that hurts. A lot. As expected, I made a mess the fuck out of that place._

"_AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"_

_I did thrash that place into a dilapidated haunted house._

Sauna

_It was fine for the first several minutes, until I decided to switch places and accidentally sat on a pointy rock._

"_AAARRRGGG!!!!!!!!!!"_

_I did thrash that place into an earthquake-affected house you see in television._

Zen Gardens

_I was looking at the beautiful scenery in a Zen garden not too far away from Ikebukuro, since there aren't many gardens in the city. But I did not expect that person to ruin it all._

"_Ohaiyo, Shizzy-kun~"_

"_Damn it stupid flea!"_

_I did thrash that place into an ancient temple you usually see in stupid documentaries._

Bonzai Tree Trimming Class

"_Okay, class, show me your trees…Heiwajima-san, that's an impressive bonsai tree for a beginner." The female trainer of the class praised me._

"_T-thanks." It was all I can come up with, I was blushing like an apple._

"_Let's see here…oh, it seems we have a new student here." The trainer checked her list on her clipboard. "Come right in, Orihara-san."_

_Orihara Izaya. Why does he have to follow me wherever I go? After introducing himself, he walked passed me, not before cutting my bear-shaped bonsai tree ears' out of the sculpture with that sharp knife of his. _

_I did thrash that place into a cemetery._

Painting Class

"_Nice portrait, Heiwajima-san. You may want to sign up for the intermediate class." The art instructor said that to me. But that stupid flea, by the open window, with a can of black paint in his hand, splashed my meretriciously portrait into a piece of black blob._

"_IIZZZAAAAYYAAA!!!!!"_

_I did thrash place into an art school for zombies. _

Baking at home

"_Nice apron, housewife." That damn Izaya commented about my costume while baking a cake, since many housewives claimed that sweets and fresh smelling cakes can calm most people down. After giving that cocky laugh of his, I started chasing him from the streets, not before jumping from my apartment on the 2__nd__ floor to the pave way._

"_IIIZZZAAAAYAAA!!!"_

_I did thrash Izaya's final place, but my cake is all burnt the minute I step into my house._

Reading Erica and Walker's manga

"_That's really unusual for you to give us this kind of request, Shizzy-kun~" Walker was actually teasing me, but lucky for him I don't go trashing places this time._

"_I knew it! He wants to be an otaku!"_

"_Ahem, just don't make him mad this time. Just…give him what he wants. No gory manga this time, and not anymore hentai for god's sake." Togusa cautiously warned the crazy duo. I have heard that they did tortured countless 'victims' by torturing them by following the methods and plot in that said manga that has got to do with it._

"_Ok! Hmm…Spiral…Sekirei, nope, too ecchi…Higurashi…not good for Shizzy-kun's soul…there's Pandora Hearts and Fullmetal Alchemist…not exciting enough…aha! Lucky Star! You'll definitely fall in love with my dear Konata and Kagami 3~" Walker passed me the manga, which claims to be soul healing for troubled people with stupid problems at the cover page._

_I took the manga without any hesitation; unfortunately, there are so many goddamned terms I don't even know about._

"_Shota-con, loli-con, tsundere, yandere…meganekanno…yaoi, yuri, chibi, fanservice, gothloli, nyoron, megas, moe, harem, reverse harem, mecha…dojinshi…" I thought of all these terms show in the manga, faster and faster by the minute. "What the heck are these terms…I don't even know what they mean! What the fuck is 'ahoge', what on earth is bishoujo actually mean…"_

"_What is this?"_

"_What is this??"_

"_What is this???"_

"_WHAT IS THIS???"_

"_WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THIS?????????"_

_Soon, I shred the entire book into the size of termites, stomping out of the van angrily not before seeing Kadoka coming back, with some dirt on his face looking extremely clueless at me._

"_So you came to look for Erica and Walker?"_

"_Shut up!"_

_Erica and Walker miserably joined Kadoka looking surprised, not before Kadoka started asking them what the heck's wrong with me._

"_What did you two do this time to make Shizuo-san angry?"_

"_We didn't do anything." The self-professed fujoshi said, in which it was the truth this time._

"_He just wanted to read some manga. Oh my Konata, my waifu Kagami…" Walker was in depression and moaning now that I destroyed his treasured manga not before crying a river out of just a comic book, kneeling down similar to a Zen monk. "They're dead…my love...it's all over…no more~~~~" _

_

* * *

  
_

_All I had left is the stress ball Tachibana gave me on my latest visit._

_Almost all my efforts were futile. I felt that my situation is hopeless, with not one method working out for me, I was feeling if I should attend the next session to the psychologist. Sometimes I wish things go my way for once. _

_But not before ending my expedition with a high note._

"_Heyyyy!!!! Shizuo-san!!!!"_

_I turned back to see which reckless kid would scream my name in Ikebukuro. It was that Ryugamine kid again, the one I accidentally hit him with a tennis ball that time._

_He was running towards me, a person wearing a bartender suit smoking away. When he was done catching his breathe, he took a piece of paper out from his pocket._

_It was actually the photo of that stupid flea._

"_H-how did it get to you? Did you steal it?"_

"_You drop it during that fight in that sports store. Kida-kun picked it up, but I told him that I'll return it to you, even though you are really scary-looking." That Mikado explained, but I didn't get mad this time at this kind of situation. I snatched the photo away from him, that smirk of Orihara Izaya's face still irks me._

_I kept the photo away from my eyes and left the place, not before thanking that Mikado kid for retrieving my lost thing and warning him to stay away from him the next time we met._

_There is still hope. I just need to put more effort into it._

_

* * *

  
_

**Author's Note: I really appreciate the reviews, and I would like to thank alaskaaru for giving me lots of suggestions for this chapter. That's what I really need, I hope you like it.**

**Sorry if the chapter's a bit rushed and less interesting than it should be, but rest assure that the later chapters will be full of awesomeness. Another reason why it was pretty rushed was that I am currently working on a Celty X Shizuo fic in progress. It's a one-shot, and since I am a huge Celty X Shizuo fan, I guess I should spread the love between the two of them. Seeing them in short but memorable moments in the anime series together make me want to say 'Awwww…' to them. Yeah, I'm not into Celty X Shinra, it's just not that interesting; I'll probably edit some stuff for this chapter if I have the time.**

**Well, there are a few hints I've sowed in this chapter that will foresee and overlap future chapters. It's not obvious in the eye, so do your best to find it. If you have anymore ideas to contribute in this story, please review at the end of this message. **

**I agree that Seiji Yagari and Namie Yagari are loony people after watching episode 9. Seriously they need to see Dr. Rika Tachibana in future chapters. Are there any series in which sisters don't love their brothers, brothers who don't love their sisters or vice versa? **


	4. If Only I Can Stuff His Face In Concrete

Disclaimer: No real people, cats, dogs, rabbits and immortals are hurt or killed during the writing of this fanfiction. If situations like these in this story happen in real life, it is purely coincidental. Now just shut up and follow Excalibur's one thousand tasks, even if you find it the most provoking and will drive you to your grave 30 years early. I mean it. NOW.

* * *

_Why am I in this office again?_

"_Tsk tsk tsk." Dr. Tachibana was shaking her head, observing the charts on her clipboard. I was stuck in this office once again, this time she wasn't feeling happy about my results. "It seems that we have a real big problem here. And if your condition doesn't improves soon… I don't know what to say anymore."_

_I swallowed, this time rather painfully. "Doctor…is it serious?"_

"_Serious? This is far beyond a laughing matter!" Angrily, she pushed the chair out of her way, before stomping at me rather infuriated. "You know what? I've been in this successful line for only a few years, and yet you are unwilling to cooperate with me further! Seriously, what is WRONG with you? Can't you at least make my life better? I have to deal with crazy patients every single day, and you just won't let me go, can't you?"_

_It was the first time seeing her furious. Perhaps even more furious than my usual angry temper in my daily life. I pushed my way back bit by bit as Dr. Tachibana walked closer and closer to me, until I've reached my limit when the wall behind me signaled my chair that it has enough._

"_Right now," she was now booming rather loudly, scribbling on her clipboard rather heavily. "You deserve to be placed in an asylum."  
_

_She tore out the paper out from the clipboard, the words 'ASYLUM' were in bold, written right in my face in caps._

" _Asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum. You are hopeless, there's no cure for you. Asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum…" she kept repeating the word 'asylum', which had now, drove me to my brink of edge. Each time she said that word, I could feel more of its echoic effects. Mentioning it over and over and over again, her finger pointing at me as if I was the loony kid._

"_Asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum, asylum asylum, asylum…"_

"_AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!"_

_

* * *

__I woke up from my worst nightmare of my life. Luckily, I have just woken up; now relived that I was in my room, with half of my blanket covering my body. Feeling that I am sweating like never before, even more than in summer, I opened the windows while clearing my head out of my misery._

_Remembering that photo I got from that Ryugamine kid the other day, that smirk on that dumbass's face really almost drove me to the edge, but it's something that will help me overcome this obstacle. Reluctantly, I stick that photo on my door, hoping that I'll see it all the time while not unleash the demon inside me. _

_Not to forget that stress ball Tachibana gave me that day, I've tried squeezing it, but I still wonder how a ball will help me managing my anger. _

_I called Celty to join me at Russian Sushi at dawn. I wasn't able to fall asleep after that nightmare and at first; I didn't think that Celty would be up in the middle of the night, let alone thinking about meeting me here. I could still overheard Simon yelling outside the store in the middle of the night; I wonder if anyone sleeping would be complaining adding fuel to fire to the noise pollution._

"_Russian Sushi, sushi is good, come to Russian Sushi. Twenty percent off until 5am…"_

_I slowly chewed my sushi down. In its presentation, it looks rather disgusting for people who aren't used to the sushi here but it's really good. Celty just sat there silently, fiddling with the disposable wooden chopsticks._

"_It's not good manners for you to fiddle the chopsticks, Celty."_

_She then drops the pair of sticks gently, before taking the machine out from her sleeve. She fidgeted on the buttons rather frantically before showing it to me._

"**Oh. Sorry. I had a nightmare too, that's why I could fall asleep. Don't want to wake Shinra up."**

_The word 'nightmare' made me stood on my seat. "What kind of nightmares?"_

_Celty paused for a while to think of what to write. _**"Something personal. It's not the right time to say it yet. But anyway, what is your nightmare about?"**

"_It's about me being sent to an asylum and my anger issues being a hopeless one." I said it bluntly. I'm not surprised if Celty is telling me that my case won't be hopeless. Remembering the other reason why I've asked Celty out here, I took out what I bought from the sports store from Kasuka the other day all wrapped up in a simple package, I slide the present to Celty._

"_And you remember me asking a request to send this to my brother?"_

"**Of course. At least work distracts my problems in my heart, even if it's only for a short while."**

_I smiled, writing down Kasuka's address of his new apartment. "Here you go. His stage name is Yuuhei Hanejima, I'm telling you this so that you will find him since he's not using his real name in showbiz. Just leave the gift at his doorstep." _

_Celty placed the gift aside, not before giving me a thumb up for a 100% satisfactory job done. _

"**Don't worry, Shizuo. You'll be fine. Some day you'll get better, anything's possible, as much as I want to find something precious that I have lost."**

"_Yeah, I'll do whatever it takes."_

"**That's the spirit!"

* * *

**

_I was in for another job the moment I chow down my last sushi at Russian Sushi._

_This time, it's not a job from Tom-senpai._

_It was a job vacancy at a pets' shop. Since I wasn't earning much as my job as a bodyguard, might as well give this job a try. No harm taking care of domestic pets, right?_

_The shopkeeper of the pets' store reminded me of the lady I met years ago when I was a child. I remembered her giving my brother and me a can of milk, but I did something horrible to her. When she was threatened by some thugs that day, I made the biggest mistake of my life._

_I thrashed those thugs, as well as her beloved shop._

_I knew she couldn't forgive me with those sympathetic but cold eyes, but my body just let it be. I'm being quite unfair to her, but it's the only way that I can keep her away from those stupid thugs. The shopkeeper of the pets' store gave me that kind of vibe but with a different look._

_Soon, I left the store, thinking that there was no way I could get this job due to my short fuse and my 'experience' for giving the worst customer service in the whole of Ikebukuro, as far as I can remember._

_I was thinking of leaving this place, until…_

"_Look out!!!"_

_It was too late the time I turned back to see what the ruckus was about. I swear, and it's true, that thousands of dogs with their dog chains, some cats and rabbits, were pulling a guy away from themselves, actually chasing after me. I ran as fast as I could, much more than what I usually do when I get to chase around gambling addicts. Knowing that this was no coincidence, I turned to see who was instigating the entire incident._

_As expected._

_Orihara Izaya._

_I knew that stupid smirk anywhere._

_Using my brains for once, I checked my surroundings amidst my chase from those dogs, which looked ready to take me as breakfast. Widening my eyes, I swung myself onto the nearest lamppost, raising myself onto the roof of a bakery. Escaping the lurches from countless dogs, I jumped from one building to another, making sure that I do not let Izaya out of my sight. The moment I can see him, he made his way too, but I'm not sure what kind of dumb pranks he's going to pull later on._

_Having to chase him for the past eight years, I know what Izaya's capable of inside out, upside down, downside up. He just pisses me off very much, even though I don't know the actual reason why. I just hate him. I just do._

_Urg, who cares?_

_Suddenly, I thought I was dreaming. I kinda ran faster than before as I caught up to him a few moments later. Taking a vending machine filled with snacks as Izaya climbed down the building, I threw it right at him and hit him right smack at his stupid face. Finally, I've caught up with him, and it was my first time bashing him up like a pulp, like he always do to me umpteen times before. _

_Before I even took a lamppost and stick it right into his eyeballs…_

"_Sir, you're coming over to the police station immediate for damaging public property and hurting an innocent man."_

_Oh shit.

* * *

_

_It was Shinra who bailed me out of the station. Too bad my records are stained, and Izaya gets away with being 'innocent'. Innocent my shit. He was the one who started everything, not me._

"_Luckily I was around buying some groceries for dinner later on. So did Izaya make you annoyed before that?"_

"_Forget about him, let's talk about you. I knew that you gave Tachibana-Sensei that stupid flea's photo. I'm not an idiot, you know." Seriously, what was Shinra thinking about? I rather jump down the window on the 12__th__ floor in a hotel than listen to his stupid advice. "The visit to that psychologist has not helped me one bit. I'm still the same old angry and violent Shizuo Heiwajima as I am now."_

"_Hmm…perhaps there is no cure for you." Shinra teased, but his words do hold a little truth to it. "Maybe you'll become like this forever and if you ever gone crazy one day…I don't know what the future might bring you. Maybe to the state when you become uncontrollable, or even your loved ones might find it impossible to help you…"_

_Sure, I was pissed at him berating me for everything I did. But when the calmer side of my mind told me to taking a few deep breathes and thinking about all the good things about Shinra (Well, I can't really think of good memories that involves him, all he brought me is his nonsensical facts and annoying comments.), maybe probably with Celty and Kasuka._

_The only thing I could counterattack Shinra's berating comments are…_

"_SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP."_

_I left him along afterwards. Looks like things are starting to go my way after all._

"_Well, at least Shizuo didn't smash my face into a wall this time." It was Shinra's last words that confirmed that I'm up for bigger things.

* * *

_

**Sorry it's a bit late and I know that this chapter's a little short and rushed; this is a busy month for me and there's so much to do. I'm currently preparing my audition to get into a renowned music institution that's coming really soon, and there's no time for me to get the story going. Although I have a surprise for you; an omake that revolves around the main DRRR cast other than Shizuo when then are stuck in situations with the psychologist that is coming right at the next chapter. That will keep you guys distracted before I come up with the next chapter of Anger Management.**

**Erm, is anyone reading my Celty X Shizuo one-shot? Because I don't think anyone's liking it since there are no comments for it so far, and I'm kinda disappointed if you guys really like it or not. I'm planning a few more DRRR one-shots soon; one of them is in a 'Writing in Progress' stage and already been listed in my profile. If you're looking for yaoi or yuri fics here, I'm afraid that you have to go elsewhere to find it, since I usually don't write yaoi and yuri fics. **


	5. Omake Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!!! and its characters. Neither do I own Fullmetal Alchemist (You'll see why later as the story goes on.). I only own Rika Tachibana, a necessary OC who acts as the psychologist in the story. Rika will not be pairing up with Shizuo or any other characters in the fic later on; she is only acting as a catalyst to treat and cure Shizuo's anger issues.**

**Note: Story in Third-Person Point of View, not the usual Shizuo's point of view.

* * *

**

Patient: Seiji Yagiri

"_Welcome! I see that you're a new patient here. Let's see…your name…"_

"_Seiji Yagiri. I don't want to waste my precious time on something trivial. I'm a busy man."_

"_Busy? I have your school records, saying that you dropped high school at the beginning of the year? What are you so busy with? Work? Nope…you're unemployed…finding a girlfriend?"_

_Rika had struck Seiji's Achilles Heel, a smirk on her face on her first patient of the day. _

"_Lo..ve? What love? I'm just a lonely guy feeding off my sister's money."_

"_You're lying~. I'm a psychologist; I know what your body actions are telling me. But no worries, I will keep this from anyone, since it's every psychologist's policy not to reveal any sessions with my patients to anyone else, unless if it's your close kin. Like your parents or something."_

_The high school dropout was feeling rather annoyed, wondering in his head the reason he got himself into this mess in the first place. He had no time to random chit-chat with other women; he was already addicted to a girl that he likes; a girl that he had met ever since they met ever since he was in middle school. _

"_Alright, but please leave me alone after that. Yes, I have someone I love. She's the only one I love, no woman will replace her. Not ever. She is mine. Not anyone else. She must love me, and I must love her. If someone is trying to steal her away from me, I'll make sure that I'll gorge out his eye with my pen, like how I did to someone who dressed up like a stupid bartender---"_

"_That's all for today, Yagiri-san. Before you leave, let me give you something."_

_Rika took one of her spare copy of Shakespeare's Hamlet out of her drawer, signing something on the blank page of the paperback. With a smile, Seiji left the room quietly, wondering what the psychologist had written in the book. Meanwhile, Rika took a book from her desk, a page titled 'Application form' for people who are mentally unstable, while stamping the bold words 'Asylum; Urgent' onto the form._

_On Seiji's side, the word 'Asylum' was written in bold and as large as the pages would carry it.

* * *

_

Patient: Namie Yagiri

"_Unlike my dear little brother, I am a woman with a career. Please do not waste my time on your trivial check-ups; I'm having another meeting this afternoon."_

"_Namie Yagiri, Chief of Yagari Pharmaceuticals. Your uncle owns the company, is that right?"_

"_A no-brainer, Tachibana-sensei. Is there anything else? If not, I'm leaving right this second, thank you very much." Before Namie take even a single step out of the room, Rika stared as close as possible at the scientist, scaring the woman with her usual deadpan expression. Exerting a stern aura within her, Namie, feeling rather pissed and defiant take her seat. The psychologist then reverts back to her normal self, peeking out at the windows not before starting the session._

"_Let's talk…about love."_

"_What do you know about love?" The scientist retorted at the other doctor's words. "Unlike love from any other people, my love for Seiji is absolute! Whatever he feels, I'll always give my love to him, my unconditional love. The feeling, love, for you and everyone else is just a façade. Who knows what any other fool might think what love actually is? Your love is a big fat lie, while mine is actually noble and true than anyone else in this dirty world."_

_Rika did not mention a single word as Namie released her inner demons, her eyes were not looking very normal, as far as the psychologist's concerned._

"_Well, it's just an abstract feeling after all. Oh well, you say that you're busy, right? Ok, take this book and leave. I'll see you again in the next session."_

"_Oh, there won't be a next time, Tachibana."_

_Rika could felt the wind of the slammed door. Oh well, she did gave the same book that she gave to her brother earlier on. She now wonders the number of people she would want to send to the asylum.

* * *

_

Patient: Mikado Ryugamine

"_A problem about me? No-nope. Not at all." The bashful boy began the session with a low profile; Rika was drinking a cup of coffee now that she has already heard some mindless speech early in the morning. It was true that both the Yagari siblings had drove her crazy with the talk of love and all, but she was nonetheless glad that she's taking care of someone who is neither completely unstable nor talk about love, love and love nearly all the time. _

"_Well, I'm moved here just recently, and would you mind giving me directions to see where this is?"_

_Rika grabbed the pamphlet to where the place is. She looked extremely dumbfound by the location as soon as she take a peek._

"_Gold Coin Arcade…is this place you're asking me about?"

* * *

_

Patient: Kida Masaomi

"_Okay…so why am I here for again?"_

_Rika checked her clipboard on the details on her next patient of the day. Disdained, but calm, the brunette observed the high school student a little longer before making up her mind on what to say._

"_Well…I've been receiving numerous complains from people in Ikebukuro, especially girls about your age, pestering them to be your girlfriend. Many had told me to call you to see what's wrong with your head. Some complained of sexual harassment, which I think you wouldn't be capable of." The psychologist stared at the boy in person closer, while the blond was forced to lean back a little, chuckling away with his usual goofy smile._

"_Why's that? I know! Those guys, they're jealous of me. I just knew it! They just don't like me being popular with girls! But sorry, I don't date with woman older than me, gotta go!" Kida quickly left the room, leaving an irritated Rika in the silent office._

"_Sigh. Why do I have to deal with the difficult ones?"

* * *

_

Patient: Anri Sonohara

"_Erm, have you see this person?" The bespectacled student took out Mika's photograph, along with herself as well on the photo. _

"_No---nope. Sorry."_

"_And him?"_

"_I'm sorry, but I can't tell you anything." Rika said apologetically. But she did see Seiji early in the morning. Who knows what kind of trouble either one will bring when they collide._

"_It's okay." Just as she thought that the questions will end, Anri took out an entire photo album, showing her photos of Mika and her when both girls met and before they became friends._

"_Uh oh…"_

"_This is a photo of Mika and me when we were in elementary school, we went fishing together with my father that time, but then I caught the hay fever, and I fell sick for the next three days. This is another photo of her buying a big box of popcorn at the movies, but then she fell down and suffered a leg facture, in which she did receive an operation after that but she can't stress her legs for the next three weeks of rehabilitation. And here; Mika and I went on that field trip, but then I accidentally confessed to a guy I really like and became the laughing stock of the entire school. This is a photo of me trying on a tutu, but I guess I wasn't good at ballet…"_

_She could hear Anri's rant on and on until the day she died, Rika then face-palmed to express how annoyed she felt as Anri had not even begun the exciting part of her confessions.

* * *

_

Patient: Kadota Kyohei

_She knew from that start that she was hosting a staring contest with her next patient. Seriously, why does she have to handle so many weird patients in one day anyway?_

"_So…shall we start?"_

"_Ahh? Oh, I don't think I have a crazy mind like my friends." Kadota said, feeling rather nervous with another woman alone sitting in this silent room. He was actually thinking deeply the actual reason he was invited here in the first place. Of all his life, he does not recall any single moments when he had an unstable mind. Even up till now.

* * *

_

Patient: Erica Karisawa

"_I know what you are! You are a piru-piru-piru angel who has come to save my life from evil doctors!"_

"_Huh?"_

"_Have you read the latest chapter of Demon Love? XX and XXX were doing XXX, and then XXX doing XXX XXXXXXXXX. Here is a copy of the first volume!"_

_It was strange for her patient to shove her something else other than confessing her problems to a psychologist. With just a random flip on any page, Rika almost had her eyeballs self-combusting as she unintentionally looked at one sleazy picture that is too dangerous to describe. _

"_Was it cute?"_

"_Erm, nice manga, but not today." Rika told Erica about it as she slapped the book shut. At the bottom of her heart; she has the urge of chasing this insane fujoshi as soon as possible. A hopeless case; Rika thought with disguise as she put on a calm demeanor in front of her patient.

* * *

_

Patient: Walker Yumasaki

"_Choose a manga you like. Anyone will do."_

_Another nutcase, Rika thought cynically. With an array of manga and light novel series to choose from, being a casual manga fan, Rika picked the one that was titled 'Fullmetal Alchemist', with a mindset that it will be an interesting one._

"_Fullmetal Alchemist! Nice choice! Now I just have to do the finishing touches."_

_Walker took out a sharp tool that similarly looked like it was used to engrave tattoos on body parts. Hearing its jarring noise had made Rika at the brink of crying; the noise sounded more like a girl screaming in agony than scraping a page off a book. Walker carried out the grin again, putting the tool away from the sight of the brunette. _

_The otaku passed the book to the lady, with his name engraved onto the comic book._

"_That will be one thousand two hundred yen, with the extra charge on the engrave charges."_

_The silent effects of the 'ka-ching' noise can be heard, even though no one was making any sort of noise.

* * *

_

Patient: Togusa Saburo

"_Too bad I have to be surrounded by crazy otakus every single day. They are driving me mad almost everyday; I told them not to use gasoline in the van, but they don't listen!"_

"_Gasoline? In the van?"_

"_Er---er---erm, nothing serious, hehe."_

"_Why don't you just walk out of them? Supposing I don't see you and your friends being real friends at all, Saburo-san."_

"_Nay-eh. Not possible. I've struck a deal with them. I'm actually a member of Doll---"_

"_TOGUSA!"_

_Kadota, Erika and Walker all barged into the room very suddenly at the same time, surprising the ever stone-faced Rika out of her seat. Covering Togusa's mouth tightly, the other three forced a nervous laugh at the psychologist, pulling him away from revealing anymore secrets._

"_What on Haruhiism are you doing, Togusa?" Walker reprimanded his friend with a hoarse, whispering voice._

"_Trying to blow our cover away? I thought we swore an oath not to mention that we're members of Dollars to anyone. Do you wanna die or something?" For the first time, Kadota agreed with Erica and Walker on one thing. _

"_It's nothing, sensei! We'll be leaving now, bye!" With her last words, Erica slammed the door shut right in front of the psychologist with no ill feelings. Still suffering from the aftershocks, Rika was still staring at the plain door._

"_What…was that all about?"

* * *

_

Patient: Simon (Samia) Brezhnev

"_Come to Russian Sushi. Sushi is good. Sushi good for heart. Sushi contains Omega-3 and proteins."_

"_Yes, I get it, Brezhnev-san. So what do you want from me this time?"_

_Hearing the Black Russian repeating the sentence over and over for the past 15 minutes, Rika was feeling rather uncomfortable listening to a foreigner advertising a sushi shop. She could not understand why a man like this would visit the psychologist in the first place. All of a sudden, she was shoved a leaflet of the said restaurant by the muscular man, looking as optimistic as ever. _

_Well, at least he's more normal than some of my patients I've been seeing, Rika thought as Simon repeated the entire sentence again, this time with some mention of serving 'humans' on Fridays. _

"_All right, enough. Thanks for visiting; I have many more patients to tend to." She pushes the sushi tout out of the room, before puffing away for pushing away such heavy man with enormous strength.

* * *

_

Patient: Shinra Kishitani

_Rika looked at the underground doctor in disbelief, her eyebrows raised with surprise as she took a peek on her clipboard. "Are you kidding around with me?"_

_Shinra raised her shoulders, a cheeky grin stuck on his face. "Well, the patients I've treated had recently mentioned to me that I am…peculiar. So I should be in this office, no matter the case is!"_

"_You look awfully cheerful there. And yes, you have a big problem. With your head, that is." _

"_Ohh…I love heads. And you know what? I have a roommate who's been living with me, and she's literally gorgeous~ Even without a head…"_

"_Head?"_

"_Who needs a head when you're so beautiful?"

* * *

_

Patient: Orihara Izaya

"_I love everyone! I love you, I love people, and I love humans. Oh I just love every single human in the world, from Shanghai to Moscow to Chicago to Oslo to Singapore to Taumata whakatangihanga koauau o tamatea turi pukakapiki maunga horo nuku pokai whenua kitanatahu__**1**__…"_

_She had no idea what her next patient was talking about one bit, though he looked fairly normal to her. Cheery, jovial and good-looking, Orihara Izaya was feeling as happy as usual._

_The information broker raised his eyebrow, wondering what his psychologist was thinking about._

"_What are you thinking, Tachibana-sensei?" His voice was as persuasive and cunning as usual, but a little smoother on the edge this time round._

"_I was thinking that you might want to enroll yourself in a mental hospital, Orihara-san. Now say, did you love me? Kiss me then."

* * *

_

Patient: Mika Harima (Celty's Head?)

"_I…I…" Mika was fidgeting with her fingers, not knowing of what to say in front of the always-calm brunette. She avoided eye contact completely from anyone ever since she made her way out here, so that she can be treated and pour out her agonies. _

"_Calm down, Harima-san. Take a few deep breathes; maybe this will clear your mind." _

_Taking her orders, the almost-pale-as-paper girl followed her advice. With fear written obviously on her cyan orbs, slowly she regain her confidence as she began to sit upright, her eyes were able to meet at Rika's._

"_Thank you, sensei. I was thinking that I would never rest again. I was feeling so uptight these days."_

_Rika stopped pacing around when she heard keywords that may help her patient. "Uptight? Where?"_

_Mika wrapped her arms around her upper torso, her eyes feeling uneasy._

"_Almost everywhere, from top to bottom. I feel as if a stalker's been following me wherever I go." It was a serious problem, as expected from the renowned psychologist. Unlike all the cases she has seen for the entire day, Mika seemed to be genuine and did not appear to be joking either. _

"_I….KKKKKKKKYYYYYYAAAA!!!!"_

_The girl stumbled on her hair, horror was written everywhere as she slammed the door towards the psychologist almost immediately as she saw something seeming creepy. Rika turned back, but she saw only a glass window in front of her. She opened it up just to check for someone climbing up, but since the office was built on the 5__th__ storey, it was impossible for someone to climb up all the way here, not without any safety equipment, that is._

_Little did the woman know that Izaya Orihara was stalking at the girl for some time now, as the mysterious information broker climbed his way down to the ground floor, a monstrous mask hanging on the chains around his jeans.

* * *

_

Patient: Celty Sturluson

_The black rider did not move an inch ever since she entered the psychologist's room. Rika Tachibana, who was making instant coffee. It was already evening, but luckily the biker was her last patient for the day. She was feeling quite beat now that she has to handle 13 patients, now 14 today. She had never felt this tired, but yet she has an odd feeling on her last patient._

"_So, you're a foreigner?" The female biker nodded her head obediently. When Rika had finished making coffee and was about to give it to her patient, Celty gestured a polite shake, implying that she is fine without any coffee, since she is an immortal and most importantly, a Dullahan coming all the way from Ireland to locate her missing head for the past 20 years._

"_Can…you talk?"_

_Celty took her PDA out of her sleeve, not before typing a short message and letting the tired psychologist read how she feels._

"**It's my first time visiting a psychologist. It feels a lot different from what I've seen in DVDs at home. At least it doesn't feel creepy one bit."**

"_You never saw one before? That's totally fine for me, since some people have misconceptions_ _that only mentally challenged or insane people deserves to visit the psychologist. It's no taboo or anything to discover what a human mind thinks. Speaking of what a human mind thinks; you don't seem to be someone with any kind of mental disorder. You seem pretty normal to me."_

"**I see. So I heard that Shinra did come here a moment ago."**

"_You know him? Well, I just tend to him a few hours before you. To sum it up, I wonder what he was saying when he mentioned that he has a girlfriend who is literally dead gorgeous, even without a head. Do you know who is he talking about?"_

_Celty felt a slight jolt of anger as Rika mentioned about Shinra's prank, her fist clenched. Wanting to reveal her true identity to every single people he meets? He is truly out of his mind, literally. With her mind (She doesn't have a mind, right? Well, with a lack of a better word; her instinct.) Completely fueled with the purpose of drowning his roommate into a toilet bowl as soon as she get her hands on the underground doctor, Celty gave a final short message for leaving early for her session to her fellow psychologist. Rika did nothing to stop her but waved goodbye, entering 'Shinra Kishitani' as potential member of the asylum center a friend of Rika is currently running into the computer system.

* * *

_

**1: **Taumata whakatangihanga koauau o tamatea turi pukakapiki maunga horo nuku pokai whenua kitanatahu, also know as 'Taumata' is a hill located in New Zealand. Don't believe me? Go Google it. I added this word into Izaya's vocabulary for enhanced comedic effect. Wonder he will say this out loud if he manages to say this in the anime…very unlikely. There's another long name, but I think you guys will have your brains worn out by the time you reached the last word.

And yes, I'm not a big fan of Izaya. Shizuo and Celty are.

**Yeah, so I would just want to take a break at Shizuo's attempts on dealing with his inner demons for a while. I would also want to see how the other main characters of Durarara!!! may react when they are invited to visit Rika Tachibana. Truthfully, this is one of the most enjoyable chapters I've ever written.**

**Out of the 14 characters shown here, I think Anri was the hardest, besides Mikado and Kadota since we don't know any damn thing about her, aside from being shy, popular with a big bust and busily finding Mika Harima. It's hard for me to give her a situation, but the others flow just find. Seiji, Namie and Izaya are the easiest, since Izaya is quite overrated in the Durarara!!! community and it's a no-brainer for the Yagiri siblings, if you have been paying attention to the series for a while now. And I have a theory conjured up about Anri, which may sound a little unbelievable but true in the Durarara!!! canon. It took me forever to think of Anri's situation, though it's kinda long.**

**I'll be continuing the main storyline next chapter, so things will go a little brighter for Shizuo when we continue his part of the story. Not without some reference to some actual popular culture, like we have seen for the past few chapters. **


	6. The King of Tennis

Note: I'll be alternating both Shizuo's POV and Third-Person's POV quite a number of times to see both sides of the story. So from now on if you want to differentiate both parts easily, Shizuo's is in italics while the third-person (Kadota and gang) are in normal font. I'm trying to explaining things here, so if you are still confused, you can comment half-way or after you have finished reading this chapter.

* * *

_When I first woke up early in the morning, I received a text message by Rika Tachibana, telling me to meet her at the house in an hour. So, after having my breakfast and tidy my room for a bit, with the address she gave me the previous visit I headed for her apartment._

_Compared to my neighborhood, I've never seen a neighborhood…so clean that even a tiny dot can be seen on a spot. After telling the bodyguard and making my way to Dr. Tachibana's apartment, it took me a while before she invited me into her room._

"_Oh, hi there. Sorry, just adjusting some things and all, what are you standing here for? Come in."_

_As expected, it was tidy. She was setting up some sort of game console onto her television set, which spans about 36 inches for someone living alone. Wearing a plain grey shirt with her hair tied up for the first time, wearing a pair of white pants with pockets everywhere, it was my first time getting a different side of her when she is not working (Aside from that incident when I damaged her car accidentally, see Chapter 2.). _

"_And…we're done. So, do you like playing games?"_

"_G-games? Dr. Tachi-"_

"_Call me Rika-san for today. Today, I am not a psychologist the moment you stepped into my apartment. So, are you up for it, Shizuo-san?"_

_Well, I've never played video games in my lifetime, not that I've remembered. If this counts, I remembered playing at an arcade with Kasuka back when we were in middle school, stepping and pressing all those buttons onto the gaming machines. No, I did not thrash that place that day, but it was so much fun. Ahh…such fond memories. _

_At the end of the day, I exchanged the tickets we've earned with a pair of water guns. We stopped playing with that pair of toy guns the moment I entered high school, seeing it as childish and all by Shinra on one of his visits (And I almost strangled him to death, but thanks to Kasuka who stopped me before I crushed his bones.)_

"_So, if you have nothing on your mind," Rika-san said, swinging on the Waa remote to select a game to start the day. "I'll pick for you. What about tennis? It's an excellent game to exert your anger, it's easy too."_

"_Tennis as it is."_

_I went over to the tutorial, and all I need was to swing with my Waa remote. Rika-san kept reminding me over and over to use the wrist strap over my wrist. Well, it was frustrating, but it's for my wellbeing. To start it off nicely, Rika and I played a match together._

"_Ready…set…go!!"_

_It was Rika's turn to serve. She took a hit, the ball flying over to my corner and I managed to return the ball to her. Talk about being a pro-tennis player, like Kasuka. Well, not really, since he's doing it for an upcoming movie that involves tennis. We had so much fun, and I kept reminding myself that the ball is Orihara Izaya. _

_Hate you, hate you, hate you!_

_This is how my game goes for me. The moment Rika and I took a break; I didn't realize that two hours has already passed. Time really flies when you're having fun. I could see sweat dripping from everywhere for the first time, since I hardly ever sweat when I am out for my job. _

_You can say that this method works for me. Seeing my head feeling quite light for the first time in my life, I took another chance, but this time playing with people online using the Waa in a diameter of 500 meters away…

* * *

_

"So, what did you do this time…WHAT?!" Togusa was carrying several bags of groceries and the moment he returned Erika and Walker had their hands on the Waa console and a plasma television at the back of the van.

"Hmm, you wanna play too Togusa?" Walker asked, swinging the Waa remote at his friend.

"What have you done~" Dropping the bags of groceries, the driver kneeled down, clenching his fists on his misfortune. "And where did you get the electricity from? Both the television and the Waa won't start if there's no electricity."

"Well, about that, we obtained the power supply from over there." The self-proclaimed fujoshi pointed at the power supply box nearby an isolated traffic light junction. "Not to worry, Togusa, cars hardly ever pass by here, so we'll be completely fine. Dotachin won't be coming back in another two hours or so; he won't find out that we're using the power supply box over there. Hence there's nothing to be worry about."

"But what if--"

"Don't be such a worrywart! If the police come or anything, we'll just drive off quickly. It's the safest and cheapest place for us to get electricity; Erika and I took the time yesterday just to find the perfect spot to play on our new Waa console. So stop complaining and just watch." Walker rebut at his good friend before choosing another online player to join the game.

"Pick that one named Sebastian. He looks quite the cute type to me."

"All right."

* * *

_Finally, I've found someone after being disconnected from 3 games midway. Based on Rika's explanation, it's either their connection has been cut or our Wi-fi connection is weak. I blame it on the former. The player, who claims to be 'AngelAkuma' has accepted my challenge. _

_I took my stance, carrying the Waa remote as if I'm a samurai. Pretty cool, huh? I've wanted to do that for quite a long time, but with that stupid flea around he'll just laugh at me like a fool._

_It was my opponent's turn to serve the ball. _

"Back serve!!!!" Erika and Walker screamed almost immediately, with Walker swinging the remote with his hand around his back. The ball quickly made its way to the other player, but Shizuo easily returned the shot back to his opponent.

_Such moves won't scare me. Let's see what other tricks you've got. I have successfully returned the ball towards to the other side. Don't think I'm an idiot when it comes to tennis. That was a back serve all right._

"You know what to do, Walker-kun."

"Yes, now TWIST SERVE! Let's see how you return that." Walker made another funny swing with his Waa remote with the intention to smash his opponent's face like a pulp, giving him a warning never to underestimate the power of an otaku.

_They're making a funny move; I've never seen the looks of it. I guess I have to return it. _

_Wrong. The ball hit me in the face. I mean my avatar featured in the game. Ouch._

"Cyclone Twist SERVE!"

"KIKUMARU BAZOOKA!"

"Waterfall, Sonic Serve."

"Gyro Laser!"

"Tezuka ZOOONNNEEE!!"

The match got more absurd every time Shizuo lost the match when his opponents were taking an advantage for reading tennis manga for their past 8 years. Togusa was busily listening to some Ruri Hijiribe songs at the driver's seat while attending to looking at the mirrors to look out for any signs of danger, or the police to be exact.

* * *

_I was getting quite pissed off by the absurdity my opponents. Their moves don't look realistic to be, at least for real tennis. I'm no fool in tennis, but I do sometimes watch tennis match on television during my free time. _

_Too bad you can't do it realistically in the virtual world._

_Like what I read in a book about tennis, one must not…_

_Forget the stupid rules. Rules. Are. Meant. To. Be. BROKEN!!!!_

_Once again, I have no idea what's got into me. I took the match into full force, not giving any open chances to them.

* * *

_

He could hear the sirens. The ambulance? He does not think so; since the semi-crazed brunet does not find any accidents happening nearby in the first place. Wait, he hears the siren again but with Erika and Walker screaming over the match, it took Togusa to hear where the noise is coming from.

Oh shit, the police are here.

"GET INTO THE CAR! NOW! POLICE! POLICE!" the brunet scream frantically, the two hardcore otakus pushing themselves into the back of the van. Switching the plasma screen off, but forgetting to remove the wires attached from the power supply, the wires were left tangling as the van drove off. Escaping from the police, Togusa was in a fix whether to cross a junction where a red light emits on his side. Seeing that there was an open gap, he drove the vehicle at full speed, ignoring at all the cars crashing atop from one another.

* * *

"_Disconnected. We are experiencing technical difficulties. We will be up working in a short while. It seems there are monkeys crashing the city's power supply."_

_It was the only message shown while I was in a midst of a match. The game has not ended, and what is up with the stupid power supply?_

_Stupid power supply._

_Stupid POWAR SUPPLY!_

_STUPID ASSHOLE POWAR SUPPLYYYYY!!!_

_I want the game back up as per normal. Just give me a few more minutes, why does this have to happen now? I want it. GIVE. IT. BACK!_

"_Stop!" Rika-san tried to pull me out from dismantling the Waa console or defenestrate it, but really, it's out of my control. _

_Steady._

_Steady there…_

_It took me thirty minutes to cool myself down with my latest obsession. Dr. Tachi---no, Rika-san poured me a glass of water after I'm done with taking deep breathes. _

"_Maybe games aren't the best way to let off steam. Sigh, at least it was fun and you didn't throw my console out of the window. For today." She said with that expressionless tone. She looked away from my eyes before coming back to me. "Its lunch time, so have you thought of something?"_

_I didn't want to go for Russia Sushi this time. Got tired of eating sushi for the past week. I had too much instant ramen for quite a sustainable time. _

_In the end, Rika-san and I went to have some katsu-don. Mine has curry, but Rika just have the old, plain classic. With some hot mash potatoes with chicken gravy. Tempting. _

_While I was having a taste of my bento, I swear that I could feel my eyebrows twitching. With an almost silent siren coming out of nowhere. _

_Nay, I probably worry too much.

* * *

_

But it was true to the core.

"What shall we do?"

"It's your entire fault, you baka otaku! I told you probably the one hundredth and eight times never to do something stupid like using electricity from a power supply, but NO~!!!" Togusa sneered rather sarcastically, handling the controls like a lunatic. "You guys NEVER. LISTEN!"

"Gomen, Togusa. We won't do it again." Erika pleaded. "Or at least in front of you and Dotachin." She mumbled quietly behind the driver's back.

Walker looked back once again, opening his usually closed eyes widely. "The police are catching up! Hurry, Togusa hurry!"

"AAHHHHHH!!!!!"

What they were up ahead was an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere, but with massive traffic. Disturbing the peace of the entire neighborhood, what they did not realize is that Kadota, his face filled with dirt carrying a box of various tools was standing right beside of the van his friends were actually driving. He wasn't looking exactly pleased, as the water hydrant (Or a fire plug, as the US people called it.) the van crashed onto was spraying a colossal amount of water everywhere, even the passengers inside the van.

To be continued….

* * *

**A/N: Hi again, and I hope that you enjoyed reading the 5****th****/6****th**** (If you count the omake) chapter of Anger Management. Watching episode 11 gave me tons of ideas on the direction the fic will go as well as its ending. Speaking of ending, I'll probably end the story the same week after the final episode of Durarara!!! airs. I'll be making some amendments, mainly on the grammar after I've completed the story, and also adding some additional stuff. So when you think the story ends when I published the final chapter, you have a wrong mindset. I'll only make the changes when I have the time since it's a busy year for me from the summer season onwards. So keep looking out for this fic as there are some things that didn't make it into the story to share with all of you. **

**I've wanted to write this chapter for a long time, and finally I did after chapter after chapter. It's one of my favourite chapters yet, and I've only included the 2****nd**** half of the chapter when I was watching previous episodes of DRRR, so it's pretty late. For those who aren't fans or unaware of Prince of Tennis, some of the moves have been presented by Walker and Erika, if you have not noticed.**

**There are some untold things that this story has not shown about Rika, since I'll be writing up her history and stuff like that. Some parts of the chapter might intersect the canon universe of the main series a little, but I won't make it too deep, since it's a fic and all. I thank all of you for your support for Anger Management for favoring and alerting it. I really, really appreciate your support, so please continue to support my other fics as well. (Looks at Happy Family, haven't even touched on the fic for so long. Probably I'll update more of it when BBS arrives in international doors.)**

**Sorry I took so long to get this published. It's a big roller coaster ride for me this week with a load of crap happening. I promise that I'll complete the future chapters quickly. One more thing; I do not own the Wii, and up to my imagination I perceive it as if the Waa (The Wii in the DRRR!!! universe) has a Wi-Fi wireless connection.  
**


	7. Relationships and Marriage

_When we last stopped, Rika-san and I were having lunch in a store, while we heard some baffling noise coming towards the exit. It wasn't so much of a big deal anyway. It's not as if I'm a Samaritan in the first place. This has nothing got to do with me, unless it's Izaya, that is._

_Okay, I think what I'm pondering about will sound zany. Looking at Dr. Tachibana from head to toe, given her good looks she would be married by now. But we're talking about the 21__st__ century, so it's uncommon for working women to get married later in their thirties. _

"_So…Sensei…"_

"_Mm…hmm?" She was chewing the tough meat as if she's chewing gum. She seemed to be too bothered with her empty stomach to look at me for a second or two. _

"_I know I'm being rude, but I have to be frank." I summoned the guts to spit it out before letting my cool down. "Are you married?"_

_Tachibana stopped, chewing what's left in her mouth. After making last swallows, she turned back, crouching and let out a small chuck. "What makes you think so?"_

_Oh great. The curry in my bento did not elevate my moods, feeling the hot burn in my tongue. Fine, I know that was a stupid and a foolish question, but I couldn't keep it inside my chest any further. The curry became rebarbative by the second, and it wasn't helping one bit._

_She tossed my anxieties aside; her warm smile helped lightened the atmosphere. "Of course not, Shizuo-san. Like any other modern working women, I'm doing my best to live my fullest during my youth. I'm not going to make any regrets when I grow old. I'm not that spoony like women in manga."_

_All I could think of it a 'Oh, I sound stupid back there."_

"_It's nothing. I know that you are having some ideas about me, are you?"_

_Ideas? What ideas? The romantic sort? Like those found in cheesy romantic novels?_

"_No…not at all. I'm just cu---"_

"_Oh, so what do we have here?" _

_She and I turned to the entrance, finding that nosey underground doctor and Celty entering the restaurant. For Celty, well…have many admirers. I can understand that; it's quirky for a lady NOT to remove her biker helmet. The weather's warm enough after all the global warming going on in this planet. _

"_Are you supposed to be working?"_

"_**Oh, it's lunch hour." **__Celty typed, stretching her arms.__** "Lurking in the internet for more than 4 hours now."**_

_Right. That was a stupid question. With them coming towards our side, there's no way I can reject them from sitting next to us. Considering it rude to push our dear guests out of our circle, my mother would always say._

"_You don't mind sitting with you guys together?" Shinra asked, that thick-skinned scum…_

"_Sure, misery love company." Dr. Tachibana replied, welcoming our erratic guests popping out of nowhere. Did she just say 'misery'? Oh well, it's true that we're all miserable people with stupid problems and dumb lifestyles. After Shinra ordered a bento for himself (Celty insist that we go along, she's not hungry anyway and doesn't mind one bit watching us chewing those fibers off the digestive system.), we have this obnoxious talk together. _

_On marriage. _

_Gee thanks Shinra for intruding mine and Dr. Tachibana's privacy. Celty's too, perhaps. _

"_I'll be calling everyone, except my father, to attend our marriage ceremony." Said Shinra without shame. He stretched his arm, pulling Celty into his supposing disturbing utopia. "Of course, you and Rika will be invited too. Even Izaya gets to witness us marry too."_

_Upon hearing Izaya's name, I almost lost steam, but with Tachibana and Celty's efforts to remind me that I'm not supposed to lose control, I freed myself from my dreaded enmity. It wasn't easy trying to hold my horses in a peaceful place, but then again, it's an old habit of mine. I swear that Celty will strangle Shinra as much as she likes after this ends. Heh. Some couple they are._

"_Of course, everyone's wearing white. I don't like dark colors to ruin the best celebration we'll ever have. My---no, OUR life changing moments. Then we'll have more bab---Ow! Celty, that hurts!" Yeah, Celty rubbed Shinra's ribs real hard. If she ever takes that helmet off, that is, she would be scowling at him for real. A big, bad frown. Never mess a girl's virginity until marriage._

_With the odd couple having their personal moments doing their masochist tango, I imagined what it would be like for Shinra and Celty to have a family of their own. Oh, NO.

* * *

_

**Reading Shizou's thoughts…**

"Hey, kids! Daddy's home!"

"Welcome home, Daddy!" Celty's 'children', all of them wearing the same helmet their mother is wearing. Like what I have imagined, Shinra is still the same as ever, probably with some facial hair. His father, still wearing the troublesome gas mask he always wears.

"Hey, son. Welcome home. Seriously, are there any more good shows on TV? I've told you so the family needs cable television. Now I'm bored and there's nothing else to do. Your dojikko wife doesn't let me step into the kitchen. What if she cuts her finge---"

"Be quiet, you stupid old man. I'm trying to cook here---oops, I cut my finger." Celty typed into her PDA with rage, with everything in the kitchen under her control. "Kids, stop running around, KIDS! This is one of the times I need to use my mouth."

I can even imagine this scene vividly with the family running amok. I bet Shinra can't do anything right as a father to keep things under control. His children running around, his father complaining endlessly and Celty having the hell of her time just to make dinner for her family.

"I told you we can't have cable television, the kids will get distracted watching cartoons every day." Shinra said, sitting next to his father while yelling at his kids to go elsewhere to play. "What's wrong watching just a number of free channels on TV?"

"What about dinner then? She had trouble tasting how the dishes taste like a while ago, so I come to her aid. Before I did anything, this is where I end up. Sigh, I don't get you youngsters nowadays, rude and furious. Back in the old days---"

"No worries, Celty can handle this all by herself. It's not like she can't handle opening a can of mushrooms." Shinra interrupted abruptly, wishing not to hear his father making long rambles.

"I think you speak too soon." As the father and son duo turned to the kitchen, Celty uses the black particles to smash the can open, a continuous thump ringing all over the apartment.

Shinra rushed to her aid. "Celty, stop, stop. I've bought that can opener the other day; did you remember where you put them?"

"Oh, right." Well, Celty was embarrassed at her forgetfulness, rushing to find that can opener. Impressed at how Celty was doing with dinner, right down to the simplest dish, he felt that he was right to marry Celty as his wife. His lovely dreams were once again interrupted when Celty used the can opener to open the can of mushrooms.

"It's not used like this. Here, let me help."

**Dinner Time**

Can't imagine how Shinra's children will eat. I don't think Celty is hungry, his grumpy father's acting all real strange, and his children's looks taking from their mother. So I guess Shinra and his father eat alone during dinner time, while his children pushed and pulled, with Celty boringly looking at her father-in-law and husband enjoying dinner.

_A disturbing family indeed._

**End of Shizou's thoughts

* * *

**

"_Maybe you need to re-think your marriage with Celty. I can't imagine how YOUR children will look like," I told Shinra outright. "I mean, just look at her." I pointed at Celty in front of Shinra. "I doubt your father can accept, let alone, like her as his own daughter. I guess you need to re-think your marriage plans."_

"_Love conquers all, nothing can stop Celty and I from separation."_

_Yes, all my answers are at deaf ears to Shinra while he's stuck in Dreamland. That loony doctor. I dipped my head in shame as I turned away from him. He's definitely a hopeless case when it comes to love._

_Before any of you jump into stupid conclusions, I'm not ruining Shinra and Celty's relationship just for the sake of ruining it, or I'm in love with Celty or anything else. With no idea how Celty's head looks like and all or she's an alien from outer space---_

"_I'm not an alien!"_

"_Sorry."_

_I forgot monologues are supposed to be internal and silent. I'm not going to fall in the same pit hole as Kadota, or like what his friends would call him 'Dotachin'._

"_Aa-choo!"_

"_What's wrong Dotachin? It's quite hot here and what's up with no air-conditioning here?" Asked Walker. _

"_For the last time, stop calling me Dotachin, you idiot." Kadota yelled, putting on his bandana. "I swear someone out there is calling me that silly nickname. So, who's going to bail us out of here? I'm so hungry after working all morning."_

_Back at the shop, I ordered a can of orange juice to cool myself down. Both the weather and Shinra's love comments aren't making things better for me. I took a deep breath, drinking half of the can's contents and talked to Dr. Tachibana. She was done with her meal; her mind was elsewhere, arms resting her head._

"_What are you thinking?"_

"_Oh, just work and random stuff." She said, not before ordering a can of soda from the shop keeper. From her eyes, I guess she has yet to forget that dumb question I've asked earlier on. Okay, Shizuo, that was a stupid move earlier on, better not mess it up further. I thought to myself how my future family will look like if I marry a random girl who doesn't mind my anger issues…

* * *

_

**Shizuo's Thoughts**

Well, if I have a son, whom I'll name him Shinji and I visited his parent career day in his school, things definitely aren't going well on my side. What if Shinji inherited my uncontrollable anger from me? It's not worth it when my descendants caught my 'genes' in times to come.

"Hey, Shinji. I heard your father is a bodyguard?" I overheard one of Shinji's classmates putting him in a corner. "You know what? My father is better than you. He's the director of Sunny Electronics, one of the most renowned companies in the whole world."

"Haha, your father's just a bodyguard working for loan sharks." Another classmate of Shinji's mocked him, joining that classmate of his. Not long after, those rascals start running around Shinji in circles, calling him and I names. "Stupid son, stupid father. Stupid son, stupid father. Stupid son, stupid father. Stupid son, stupid father. Stupid son, stupid father…" They chanted non-stop around my son, until…

"MY FATHER'S NOT STUPID! SO AM I!" Snapping the can drink in half and crushing them with his foot, he grabbed a chair out of nowhere, smack those rascals against the walls and goes on a rampage. Imagine what monstrous strength he can used to hurt all the other kids and adults in the school.

**End of Shizuo's Thoughts

* * *

**

_On second thought, I think it's best for me to stay single until I get my anger issues solved. Forget about getting married; I'm such a loser. I bet no woman wants me since they'll forget about dating me upon hearing my fearsome name. _

_But I guess Rika-san or Celty, if possible, will stand a chance together with me._

"_If you're talking about the reason why I'm still single, I have my personal reasons, but I'll leave it for another day. But the other answer I said earlier on still applies here." Dr. Tachibana said, reading through my mind. I've said I'm glad that Shinra's declare of love still irritates me, but I didn't go mad at the end by thrashing this place up._

_Lunchtime was over after that moment. Shinra and Celty went back working while Rika and I split ways. Of course, things did go my way before I left, but I swear I could hear some people running amok, thrashing that place with famine and perspiration._

"_FOOOOODDDDD~"_

"_No, stop it! Pay up before you eat!"_

"_WEEEEE NNNEEEEDDDD FOOOODDDD!!!"_

"_AAAAHHHH!!!!!"_

_To be continued...

* * *

_

**I'm so terribly sorry for taking a long time to complete writing this chapter. I'm quite busy with my life now, I hope I can finish this soon and go on with 'Who wants to be with the Dullahan' and many other fics.**

**To be fair, I did wrote a draft about this chapter with Shizou visiting Rika's reunion party, but since it's a bad idea with no inspiration to complete the chapter, I scrapped it. So yeah, this is what I had in mind if things aren't going to well with the original one. C'mon, need more comments and page views for my fic, or else I can't be motivated enough to complete this sooner. Reviews are always welcome.**

**About Shingen, I have trouble on how he eats his food since he insists in putting his gas mask at all times (See episode 13 and 14 to see what I mean, hilarity ensures.) and yes, he's a loony all right. Too bad he has a darker and sinister side as the series goes on. I'm not going to spoil anything, for those who have not picked up the second half of the anime, go check it out. FYI, this chapter has yet to cover episode 11 and 12 of the anime series.**

**I'm trying to establish Rika's character a bit more. I'm thinking of preventing Rika from being unknown #165464 Mary Sue. It's so hard to make things right with OCs of a fic. If you are so persistent in reading what the original sounds like, PM me. But be warned that the original chapter is incomplete, so there's no guarantee that it'll be better than this.  
**


	8. 12Step Program to Manage Your Anger

Note: This chapter is all written in third person POV, not Shizuo's thoughts. Only the first parts and last part is written in Shizuo's POV. Some of the narrations are voiced by Shinra.

* * *

"_So, it seems that you're getting a lot better for a few weeks now. I'm glad to see improvements ever since the day of your first visit." Dr. Tachibana said with a light smile showing on her face. She wrote down her comments on her clipboard once again. _

"_That smarty-pants thinks he can be a professional psychologist like you, but I doubt that is the case." I took out a CD case, titled "Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger" and place it on the table. "That bastard dragged me in making this stupid video a few days ago, and here it is."_

_She took a look at the disc. Popping this into a previously non-existent DVD player in the room, she played the disc. _

"_W-when did you bought this? And the plasma television? I don't remember seeing this here on my last visit."_

"_I bought this yesterday. It's brand new. I get bored sometimes treating patients all day. I've been doing lots of OT stuff lately, so I sleep here sometimes. You could say this is my second home now." She rubbed her panda eyes, taking her cup of coffee and drank it all up like a hungry child. "There's still a lot of time before your visit ends, so let's just take a look, shall we?" At a press of a few buttons, the video begun playing.

* * *

_

**Warning: No animals, electronics or person is harmed during the making of the 'Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger'. Probably the last part doesn't apply, since people will get hurt in the show. This show is copyright and if you attempt to rename this series to make it your own or burn it, be prepared to meet Heiwajima Shizuo, the most fearsome man in Ikebukuro, big time. Don't say we didn't warn you.**

Twelve-Step Programme to Manage Your Anger

By: Kishitani Shinra

Co-host: Heiwajima Shizuo, fellow patient of Dr. Tachibana

"_Welcome to the twelve-step programme to manage your anger. Once you have finished watching this video, I'm sure that your lives will be better and much more fulfilling as you have expected. I am Dr. Shinra Kishitani, and this is my fellow patient and co-host, Heiwajima Shizuo."_

"_Hi."_

"_Let's not waste anymore time, shall we? We'll move on to the first step."_

_**First Step: Video Games**_

For those who are rich and have at least a Waa, a Z-Box 180 or a FunStation 3 Action console, good for you. This is the step for you. For those who have neither of these, you might want to skip this step and move on to the next step by pressing the 'Next button.'

"_This step is self-explanatory. Research shows that those who play video games that make you exert your inner anger get sick less than those who bottled up their anger or does not let it go. Let my partner show you how this is done."_

_Shizuo grabbed the two Waa remotes from the couch, creating his own fighting stance to get ready. As the game started, Shizuo imitated the actions on the screen, punching the guts out of his opponent._

While he exerts his anger out at some virtual images, for those who aren't so well off, let's move on to the next step.

_**Second Step: Exercise**_

"_Shizuo's the fastest runner during our high school days." The doctor commented, patting on the ex-bartender's shoulder. _

"_Yeah, and I can run faster than the wind." With a white headband on with the kanji 'Victory' written, Shizuo was ready to jog, pacing himself for the first minutes of his plans. _

"_HEY! Aren't you doing anything?"_

"_Yes I am…..CYCLING!"_

"…_Nice biking suit, Shinra. You look ridiculous placing protections around your entire body." _

_**Third Step: Deep Breathes**_

"_It's good to keep a healthy lifestyle in order to manage your anger." Taking a few deep breathes, Shizuo and Shinra inhale and exhale in perfect unison._

"_Don't breathe the air in Tokyo. It's bad for your health and you'll die."_

_It was Shingen, Shinra's father, making such a brutally honest comment. As usual, wearing a gas mask, he turned to his son, passing him a surgical mask to keep him safe from the 'dangerous' air. _

"_You're the one having problems, old man." Shizuo said angrily before exhaling air. "There are worse place than in Tokyo that has bad air quality. Tokyo is nothing, try Los Angeles. You'll probably 'die' from breathing too much air from there, of course, without a gas mask."_

"_Nonsense, ignorant little boy." Shingen rebuked, pointing his finger at Shizuo._

"_You went to America a few years ago, right? Surely you'll realize Shizuo's right for once." Shinra defended Shizuo's part of his argument. He ignored his some what paranoid father and continued with his exercises with Shizuo. "And breathe in…and out. In…and out…" _

_**Forth Step: Hobbies and favorite past times**_

"_Ahh…your favourite past times. Oh mine?" The eccentric doctor faced the camera with glee. "Dissecting bodies-Ouch!" Celty did her usual karate chop on Shinra in his abdomen, while chatting with her online friends on her notebook. _

"_Oh shut it Shinra. No one likes to have their bodies rip apart; including me." The Dullahan stomped the buttons on her PDA. "You don't like your body to be ripped apart, do you?" _

"_I take that back, Celty," Shinra chuckled, not before turning back to Shizuo, preparing dinner for himself and his so-called friend. "Aside from…my unusual past time, your favourite hobbies and past times will take your angry mind away from lashing out at people you care about. Let's see what's Shizuo's making."_

"_Don't touch the dishes on the table!" The blonde lashed out at Shinra, stirring a pot of chicken soup. "They're hot. Your hands are extremely dirty too! Wash them now, or else I'll throw this refrigerator at you."_

"_Oh what nice apron you're wearing, Shizu-ch-"_

"_RRRAAAAAAWWWWRRRR!"_

_**Fifth Step: Sing till you drop**_

"_Ohh! I love singing! Especially during shower time! What about you, Shizuo?"_

"_No."_

_A long silent surrounded the apartment, no one spoke a word. _

Well, singing is good. If you aren't the singing type, or you are just hopelessly tone-deaf, let's move on to the next step.

_**Sixth Step: Exert your Anger…Physically!**_

"_This is when you- AHHHH!" Thrown out of the 3__rd__ storey like a ragdoll, Shinra ended up in a recycling bin full of plastic bottles. _

_Shizuo, who had just walked out of a ruined apartment, saw the poor bespectacled doctor lying on a bed of bottles. _

"_Er, sorry. I didn't do that on purpose, flinging at the door like that. Got mad with people who aren't ready to pay their debts on time." _

"_And this is one way to exert your anger physically."_

"_Hey, get out of the way, you lazy young man!" An old lady in her seventies reprimanded Shinra. Pulling the man out of the bin and collecting all the bottles she could find, she turned back, facing him with a frown._

"_I don't get young people these days, lazy, worthless and stupid. I wonder how the world can survive with those youngsters screwing everything up." And that, she left, not before complaining her backaches._

"_That's another way to do it."_

_**Seventh Step: Screw someone's life up.**_

"_My favorite part out of the twelve steps." Shizuo rubbed his hands, smiling sinisterly as he plans on screwing up someone's life. "And I know who's the guy to fool in front of the entire world…" _

Well, as the title implied, this is one way to exert your anger, but with a cost. Your mileage may vary on this step, but if you are bent in screwing your greatest enemy's entire life, continue watching. We'll give you some tips how to turn their lives upside down, for the better for yourself, but not the victim. Oh right, there are no victims here.

Knock knock.

"_Hey, Shizu-chan! Didn't expect you to come visi-"_

"_To hell with you, motherfucker!" A force so compelling knocked Orihara Izaya out of his consciousness as his light body fell on the clean, carpeted floor. _

_**Eighth Step: Take it out on someone (But don't guarantee that s/he will ever see you again.) **_

Well, some people do that, but at a great cost. If you aren't the kind who would care about having lots and lots of friends, or someone who doesn't like their good reputation to be tarnished, maybe the next step can help you. Your mileage may vary.

"_Since we are anti-social people, we have two great examples standing right on the other side of the road." Shizuo said, pointing at Walker and Erika arguing over a cancelled publication of a light novel. _

"_Well it sucks all right. It seems you can't differentiate a good novel over a trashy one!" _

"_You're blind all right! Look at you, the novel you published was very much an old shame. No one buys them."_

"_Stop mentioning that pathetic book I wrote! Anyway, the author should stop writing and live his remaining life in shame."_

"_No, he shall go on!"_

"_Yes he should!"_

"_Oh no he doesn't!"_

_While busy with their bickering (Even Togusa and Kadota can't be bothered stopping their two otaku friends.), both Shizuo and Shinra shook their head._

"_Well, if you can't take the risk, the next step could help."_

_**Ninth Step: Spray at someone's door**_

"_Wait, Shizuo! Not at MY door! Celty will be SO upset with me staining the door with anything again!"_

"_All right, so LET'S GO SPRAY IZAYA'S DOOOOORRR! I'm sure he'll be EXTREMELY happy with his newly decorated door." Shizuo gave his partner his 'great' suggestion, brisk walking while shaking the spray cans in each hand. "Spray spray spray…hahahaha!"_

_Shinra took a startled look at Shizuo before looking at the camera. "He's nuts when it comes to Orihara Izaya."_

_**Tenth Step: Rob the bank**_

Rob a bank? No that's ridiculous. Well, there are some airheads who are ready to take the risk. Money? Money can't buy everything in the world.

_**Eleventh Step: If you think raping someone is one way, you're wrong. Go vandalize someone else's car is a GOOD way. We don't recommend tarnishing one's virginity.**_

"_You should thank us both for committing…a less serious crime." Shinra started nodding his head as he shake the spray can with vigour. "I'm afraid that tarnishing one's virginity is NOT a great idea to release your inner anger."_

"_Let's get this started." Without wasting a moment, Shinra and Shizuo, with a spray can in each hand started vandalizing Namie Yagiri's posh car. _

Well, we calculated when Namie will leave her office and takes her car either for lunch, fetching her idiotic brother Seiji Yagiri, for other appointments and for dinner. Just don't get yourself caught by the police, the authorities…or the owner herself_. Shinra pulled Shizuo out of the mess as Namie, red with fury began screaming at her offenders._

"_Come back here! How dare you do this to my car?"_

_**Last Step: Go kill someone (Note: This is only used as a last resort.)**_

"_We do not recommend you doing this for your own amusement, identical to how Mr. Orihara messes people up with his grand schemes." Shinra started off and before Shizuo could do anything, the video stopped at this point, unable to be seen.

* * *

_

_I was the one stopping the video from running. I guess Shinra and I take our stunts a little too far. Trust me; you do NOT want to know the rest of the last segment. One thing you should know; I did not kill anyone in the last step. Let's just say…it's an enactment. _

_By now, Rika and I were too tired to watch further. I guess this is the only BIG reason why this DVD did not end up selling in the big market. But I do agree screwing Izaya's life is one way I could manage my anger. At least I'm not breaking the law. Screw the police; I have my punches to keep myself going. When I turned to Rika, her surprise look shows like an open book. After a while, Rika nodded in agreement._

"_You're right. It's better to keep this in your hands. And keep mum about this to Shinra."_

"_If he ever finds out I didn't took his advice, I know what to do…" I cracked my knuckles, feeling rather relieved in making the right decisions. _

_To be continued…

* * *

_

**Once again, I apologized having to drag my deadline in publishing this. I got too carried away playing Maple Story (It's an MMORPG, apparently there's a summer event going on that is too good to miss) and watching Trauma Team walkthrough videos. There are some change of plans getting this story done and all, so pardon me for publishing the last few chapters later than expected. I'm so bad at time management…**

**I plan to end this around the end of the anime series and before school starts for me. School starts around mid-July for me, so I won't be updating my other stories as fast as I used to during my long break. I have other ideas on creating other fics, so if you have any ideas on how this story will end, please give me feedback and nice ideas. I'll credit you if you submit an idea I like in the disclaimer. **

**Originally Rika and Shizuo are going to be in this video, but I replace Rika with Shinra at the last minute. I have a reason for this; it would sound extremely out-of-character for Rika in committing some of the steps (Killing people, rob a bank. I don't think Rika will agree Shizuo in doing that.), so…yeah. You get the idea. **

**I'll be publishing another chapter soon. Hopefully it won't take too much of my time and I'll get this over with. I know that I'm rushing this story towards its end but I just want to create another fic for my ideas to run. **


End file.
